


You Should See ... The Monster He Is

by Muffencatt38



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Winged Anxiety | Virgil Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-10-30 18:41:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17834033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muffencatt38/pseuds/Muffencatt38
Summary: Some people will go to extensive lengths to love and protect those most dear to them.The sides are no different.





	1. Chapter 1

  The sides were close to one other; they played games together, they talked to one another, and in secret, loved one other.

 Virgil was no different. He played family games, he watched the others talk and fall in love. And even he himself had fallen in love, with him.

But if the other knew of the monster he hid inside, he would fear him. And today was the unfortunate day, he was going to see that monster.

 

  It started as a normal everyday day.

 

"Virgil. Get off the counter and help me." Patton fatherly scolded, with his hands in his hips.

Virgil hopped off the counter and flipped his hood off of his head. "Ok... What do you need help with?" He asked as he removed his headphones.

"I need you to go get Logan and Roman for lunch" Patton instructed as he turned back around to the pot on the stove to stir it before it boiled over. 

Virgil nodded his head before pulling his hood back up and walking up the stairs to Logans room. He knocked on the door and a few seconds later Logan opened the door. "Good afternoon Virgil. How may I help you." Logan says as he puts on his glasses and fixes his hair. Clearly he had just awoken from a nap.

"Patton said to come down and eat." Virgil says softly.

Logan nods to him and starts walking out the door towards the stairs. He locks his door before going down the stairs and sitting at the far left side of their square table.

Virgil then headed to Roman's room. There he found that the door was slightly open. He tried to knock on the door but when he hit it, it swung open and hit the other side of the wall. This scared Roman. 

  Roman in response threw a book at Virgil out if pure instinct. It hit Virgil directly in the left side of his face. This caused him to fall with a yelp.

"OH MY GOD VIRGIL! I'm so sorry, you scared me and I threw my journal at you. Are you ok??" Roman says in a panic.

Before Virgil could say anything Patton and Logan came running up the stairs and to Virgils side.

Virgil was holding his left hand over his eye. He could feel liquid running into his hand. This frightened him because..... his blood was not normal.. it was blacker then normal blood. It was still red but, a darker red.

Roman could see that Virgil was hurt. He saw the blood starting to seep through Virgils hand. But before any of the other sides could do anything, Virgil bolted to his room.

"VIRGIL!" Patton yelled after him in a failed attempt to stop him

Virgil ran into his room and started to bandage up his eye by himself.

In Roman's doorway, Logan, Patton, and Roman stood quietly looking at a black spot on the carpet. The sides were confused as to why the blood was black but were more focused on their hurt friend.

When they reached Virgils door they found that his door was locked, and no matter how hard they hit the door, Virgil would not open it or even respond to them.

So they left him alone for a bit and dragged Roman down the stairs for an explanation that Roman soon gave to them.

Virgil still in his room, was looking at himself in his large dresser mirror. He didnt need any bandages to stop any bleeding. He was not hurt 'other than a small bruise starting up just above his eye'. For his eye would always bleed when he cried. It was normal. Or at least for him it was.

He looked at his right eye which was it's normal purple color, then he looked as his left eye, which was black with dark red blood tears lightly coming out if it.

He sighed before grasping an eye patch from his drawer and placing it over his eye and walking out of his room and into the dining room. There he was watched by 4 pairs of eyes.


	2. don't hurt me... I'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> virgil tries to hide his powers. but he just cant.

  When Virgil reached the bottom of the stairs he saw Logan, Roman, Patton, And Thomas looking at him. they were in a small group huddled around the table. Shortly after starting to walk towards them he was stopped by Patton grabbing him and pulling him into a big hug.

"OH MY GOD VIRGIL! We were so worried. we didn't know what to do. we knew you were hurt but you wouldn't open your door. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I never should have made you go get the others." Patton cried into Virgil's hoodie.

Roman came over and pried Patton off of Virgil, as even from afar, he could tell Virgil didn't like the sudden contact; or at least, that’s why Logan thought he did that.

"We called Thomas down here because we wanted him to take us into your room. we just wanted to know that you weren't hurt too bad." Logan says as he walks over to Virgil before he was stopped by Roman putting his arm out in front of him.

"What are you doing Rom.." Logan was stopped mid-sentence by Roman pushing him back a bit with Patton.

Roman walked up to Virgil and got a bit to close for comfort.

"Roman what are you doing?” Virgil asked as he puts his hands up to put some distance between him and Roman.

Roman grabs Virgil's wrists with one hand and before Virgil could pull away, Roman grabs the eyepatch from off of his face.

"Roman, what are you doing??" Patton asks, walking towards him.

"stay back Patton” Roman insists.

Roman looks directly at Virgil and his eyes "I knew it" he whispers to himself. "you really are a monster."

Roman then shoves Virgil to the wall by his neck. this makes the others start to panic and run over to him. they try to pry Virgil out of Romans grasp.

"ROMAN LET HIM GO!" Patton cries.

"NO, I'm not letting this monster go. he's evil I know it." Roman protests as he squeezes Virgils neck harder causing Virgil to feel more light headed.

He starts to black out. everything was getting quiet when suddenly, he could breathe again. he was now on the floor in Patton’s lap. when he opened his eyes again he saw that Logan and Thomas had Roman pined to the floor. he hears Patton whispering soft warming word to him. 

"Let me go. I need to Vanquish this beast before he hurts someone." Roman says as he tries to break free from the others hold.

"The only one hurting people is you. you can't just call someone a monster when they've done nothing wrong. if anything you're a monster for hurting him." Patton yells while still crying.

To Patton's words, Roman stops struggling as much but he still yells back "He’s the only monster here. look at his eye and tell me he's not a monster."

Before Patton could say anything he felt Virgil get up out of his lap and run. he ignores the others calling his name. he runs up the stairs with Patton not too far behind him. not too long after the sides downstairs hear glass shatter upstairs. that's when Roman brakes their hold and runs up the stairs. when he reaches the top he sees Patton on the floor. in his hands he is holding Virgil's hoodie. and in front of him is a broken window with a little bit of black blood mixed in with the shards.


	3. Hiding in on open space it hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil needs to hide. His skin is blackening. His eyes are loosing there shape and color. And his heart hurts.

  Roman went to Patton who was still crying on the floor. "Pat are you.." before Roman could touch Pattons shoulder, his hand was viciously slapped away.

Patton looked up from the floor and looked Roman directly in his eyes. This scared Roman. Patton was looking at him with so much anger in his eyes. And it's really hard to make Patton mad.

"Why? Why couldn't you just leave him be? He’s done nothing to harm any of us. Yes he looks demonic but that doesn't make him a bad person just by his looks." Patton cries to Roman. 

Roman didnt move. He just turned his face away from Pattons. 

"DONT TURN AWAY FROM ME!" Patton yells at Roman causing him to look back at him.

"Go on. Tell him why you did it." Logan says, his voice was shaky. Clearly he has been crying.

"I...I'm sorry.." Roman starts "its...its just that.. he looked like the demons that hide in Thomas's mind...and it scared me. I didnt want to see those vicious creatures again."

"well guess what?" Logan says, causing Roman to turn around and look at him. "You've just made a monster out of him."

Roman was bewildered. He asked "What are you talking about?"

Logan sighed. He looked over at Patton then to Thomas and then back to Roman.

"When a light side is hated by everyone or almost everyone in their mind palace, they can become corrupt. There skin starts to turn black along with there hair and eyes. Their voice echoes over itself. Also, if a side is denied, in person, by the one they love, then their state could worsen rapidly." Logans eyes started to water, but he continued "and from what just happened. I would assume that he liked you and you just full on denied him."

Roman didnt know what to do. 'Did virgil really love me.' Roman then thought back to the look of fear on Virgils face when he pinned him to the wall. He then thought about how the other creatures didn’t show any emotion other then pure hate.

Roman offered to help Patton up and with teary eyes says "Get ready. Were going after him."


	4. Shadows can hid in the night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil flys away and gets trapped in a slimy snakes nest

Just after virgil jumped out the window

 

Virgil was falling. He felt the wind on his face and the ruffling of his hair. He didnt panic when he saw the ground coming faster towards him. He let out a deep breath before tensing his back. As he did so, large black wings with turquoise tips came out of his back stopping him mid fall.

  He didnt land on the floor. Instead he flew high up and away from the house he once new as home. Now, it was a place of nightmares.

He flew far enough away from the house were he could not be seen, but close enough to were he could still see the house. For he didnt want to leave, but for how Roman acted he knows he is no longer wanted.

"They dont need me" Virgil says to himself "they never liked me to begin with."

Virgils form begins to darken. His hair becomes fully black, his other eye fades out from its purple color to a dark gray.

  Then out of nowhere virgil feels strings start to rap around him. But he could care less. Which is exactly what a slimy slithery snake was waiting for.

Back at the house

Roman was talking to Patton and Logan about what they should do. They had already sent Thomas back home telling him everything was going to be fine. Logan had suggested that Patton and himself look for a possible cure for virgils state in the brains library. This left Roman alone to do whatever.

Roman dicided to go into virgils room and look around. He found a lot of interesting things. He found virgils headset, his old hoodie, and a box.. a shoe box. 

Roman dicided to open the box, and what he found inside would change the way he thought about his old friend... no... his past and still present lover.

When he opened the box he found a book covered in feathers. The feathers started out white then slowly turned blue, then greenish, then lastly black.

When Roman opened the book, he found that one of the past pages were book marked. However, it wasn't bookmarked with a normal bookmark. No. Instead there was a small razor inside.


	5. The book of broken dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman reads Virgil's diary.

 Roman couldn't believe what he was seeing. There was a page with writing and another...with crimson stains. He didnt think much of the stains at the time so he began to read :

March 3

   I got yelled at by the others again. Roman called me names and Logan called me illogical. I'll never tell them. But it hurts me when they say those words to me. Especially when I love them.

I know they hate me. They would love it if i just disappeared. I would like to die. But I cant. If i did it could harm Thomas and would hurt Pattons feelings. I cant harm them so I'll harm myself. That's fair enough right. Small reminders of the mistake I am. Well, how could I ever forget.

Roman started to tear up. The page he just read happened recently. Only 4 days before now. He didnt want to read more but he started flipping through the pages.

The things he read, and the drawing he saw. They all told him that Virgil loved them all. He wanted to be friends with them. And with Roman a potential lover. But they never let him. They all hated him. And for what. Because of his job description. Because he tried to protect them from the bad ideas they had.

Roman couldn't hold back anymore. He fell to the floor holding the book in hand. He cried and cried loud and hard. Which was probably what made Patton and Logan come running into Virgils room.

There they found Roman holding Virgil's note book on the floor and crying. Patton was the first to come over to Roman and say "Dont weirry. Well get him back. I promise...." he looks back at Logan "were ready to leave when you are." 

Roman stopped crying. 'That's right. Virgil is still out there. We need to go find him. I need to stop crying over this. ' roman thought to himself.

"We need to go. Now. We need to fix this....I need to fix this." Roman says. He stands up and shoves the book in his sachle. And they ran out the door to face there unknown fate.


	6. Deceit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit is the leader of all terrible traits. for lieing is the start of all problems.

  when Virgil awoke from his slumber, he found he was laying in a bed. a bed of no color nor originality. " Hello. Is someone there," he called out into the empty but dark room.

  Then out of the shadows Deceit followed by a trait he has never seen before, appears. The stranger wears a black dress that barely covers her knees, attached to the bottom hem of the dress and the long sleeves were red tight ruffles. Their eyes were a light pink color. However, they had a dull look to them as if there was a shadow over them. " Hello, Virgil. Its good to see you have awoken so soon," Deceit says as he walks closer to Virgil with his associate close beside him.

  Virgil didn't like Deceit but he was in no position to try to get away from him like he has done many times before. He just watched as Deceit came closer and closer to him. He didn't move, well he couldn't move even if he wanted. he could only move his upper body and not anything below his hips.

  When Deceit was about 4 feet from the bed, he raised his hand. this caused Virgil's body to sting before he was forced to stand. Virgil felt his limbs being moved by strings, and he did nothing to stop them from moving him. Deceit looked him in the eyes before saying " now that's a good puppet. no fighting, no talking, no trouble. you'll be perfect for my task." 

Virgil watched as the smaller female side came over to him and stood only a few inches from him. he watched as she extended a scorpion-like tail from her back. He also saw her eyes change color. They went from dull and pink to bright and red. then he felt her sting the lower left side of his neck. he felt all control is lost. the wings on his back changed color. from black and blue to a dark crimson. his eyes became fully black and his skin darkened to a very dark peachy color.

  Deceit smiled " Now there's the form I wanted to see, " Deceit says as he then snaps his fingers.

 This causes Virgil to become lost in his own mind. He can see and feel his body moving and can hear what he is saying, but he isn't in control of ether.

Deceit then started laughing " HAHAHAHA. This is the day iv been waiting for. the strongest unused side becomes a puppet. My puppet. Now I can rule this world," Deceit walked over to Virgil and continued " Your going to help me destroy everything they love and ever cared for. You're going to help me break them so I can make them all mine.... so let's get this thing started."

  Deceit snapped his fingers and the three of them sank out into an open field a mile in front of the house. Just in time to find Roman, Logan, and Patton Running there way. He looked at them and walked back behind Virgil. He motioned upwards and Virgil opened his new wings and flew upwards. this action made the other sides stop dead in their tracks.

  "What have you done to him," Roman says as he lifts a sword towards Deceit.

" I've made him my new pet. Doesn't he look WONDERFUL," Deceit says in a crazy upper voice.

  The other sides looked slightly up and forwards to see the Virgil they once knew covered in purple flames. His hands had darker flames in them. And his face was emotionless.

" No...No he doesn't. He looks terrible. That's not the man we knew and loved," Patton cries from behind Logan.

Deceit looks up at Virgil before snapping his fingers and saying " Good. Because now His image will be the last thing you'll ever see."

 The sides watched as Virgil's hand lifted to face them. Then a Flame shot out towards them that they nearly dodged. Virgil floated down and touched the ground. He then shot another flame. This time it hit Logans left arm.

This caused logan to scream, as images of horrible things played in his head for only a few seconds. but to him, it felt like an eternity.

Patton ran to him and held him close. Roman went charging for Deceit and just as he was about to hit him he saw Virgil appear in front of him and Deceit backed up more.

Roman looked at his old friend's state and couldn't help but blame himself for everything. This was all his fault. But he was going to fix this.

"move Virgil, Were trying to save you. Don't hurt us please," Roman says as he lowers his sword.

Virgil/Deceit takes this opportunity to attack Roman. Deceit moved Virgil so he would kick the sword out of Romans hands. The sword went flying 2 feet away from them. Roman immediately tried to get it back but was stopped again by Virgil.

" Virgil please. were trying to help," Roman says in a desperate panic.

Virgil looked at Roman directly in his eyes. And Roman could see Virgil starting to fight Deceits control. His left eye was still black while the right kept switching between purple and red. For Virgil, didn't want to hurt his friends. And Logans scream of terror hurt him. He wanted to end this. he didn't want to hurt them.

Deceit could feel Virgil slipping from his hold. so he motioned sideways for Virgil to grab Romans sword from off the ground. and he did.

With the sword in had, Virgil began to shake violently. he was gaining his control back. Deceit made Virgil raise the sword over his head and Roman closed his eyes to prepare for the attack.

In a matter of seconds, the floor around the pair was covered in thick crimson.


	7. The floor of hurt souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He has blood on his hands, and he cant handle that

  Roman stood still with his eyes shut. We were waiting to feel the pain of the sword. He could have taken his small dagger out of his sleeve, but he didnt wants to hurt Virgil anymore. He couldn't let that happen again.

But Roman felt nothing. So he opened his eyes. When he looked up, he saw something he never wanted to see. 

There laying on the floor was Logan. It would appear that just before Roman was hit Logan jumped in front of him. And next to Logan was Patton.

Patton was crying while trying to use his Cartagena as a sling for Logan's arm.

  Roman's first thought wasn't to run to Logan but to look for Virgil. Roman looked up to see Virgil still holding the sword in his hands. It hadn't moved from the position it was in after hitting Logan.

Roman could see the panic and fear in Virgil's eyes. So he slowly started to make his way over to him. But when he is about 2 feet from him, Patton stands up from the floor and while facing away from the others says "Your absolutely a monster." 

Virgil feels his heart hurt. And his mind goes wild. 'Is he talking about me. Am I a monster. Monster. Yes. I am a monster. Why would they ever care for me? They wouldn't. I need to leave. I can't protect them. I just hurt them.'

Patton turns around and sees how Virgil is starting to panic. He sees the sadness that is starting to build up. So he turns farther so he is facing deceit. 

"You.. you used my friend against me. And you made him hurt my love. I cant. You say he's a monster, well the only monster I see here is you," Patton turns to face the girl next to deceit " and you. Who are you? Why do you choose to be with this monster."

The girl says nothing. She stands how she's been standing since the fight started. She just looks at Patton with her dull eyes.

"Oh her. Haha. She is my favorite little puppet. I've had her for a few years, " Deceit goes behind the girl and grabs her shoulders " her name is Shara. She is Thomas depression. I've had her hidden so that there would be no problems. Until I had Virgil on my side."

'Shara..  have I heard that name before' Patton thought to himself. Then it came to him 'share. Shara locker, my best friend from childhood who disappeared 12 years ago after Thomas said he hated depression and the way it makes people feel'

Patton started to cry. "Shara..." Patton wanted to say something but couldn't think of what to say. He then thought about how virgil was taken out of deceits control. So without hesitation Patton ran up and kicked deceit away from a share. He then grabbed her and whispered "I'm sorry lo." And he kissed her. 

Shara felt the warmth in her heart come back. She felt as the clouds around her mind started to fade out. Her eyes changed color. There once dull look turned into a cheary bright pink. And she started to cry. 

Roman watched as Patton kissed share. And then turned back to Virgil who was still lost in thought. He started walking towards him again.

' what if I hurt them again. they'll hate me. no they already hate me. i need to go now' vigils thoughts were running wild. 

  Virgil felt a hand on his shoulder and he broke. he fell to the floor and started having an axiety attack. his breaths were hitching, his hands were gripping his arms so tight that he started to bleed. and the only thing in his mind was ' they'll hurt me' over and over again.

Roman could see Virgil swaying, about to pass out from the lack of air. He didn't know what to do. so he grabed him and kissed him. but he was to late. Virgil had fallen uncontiouse, but the last thing virgil remembered was the soft feeling of Romans heat and a tender kiss apon his lips.


	8. happy is a choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happiness is a Choice. So what is Virgil's choice?

   When Virgil came to, he found that he was laying on the couch with a thin blanket over his torso. When he leans forwards to sit up he feels pain in his arm. He looks down to find a butterfly needle in his lower wrist that is connected to a pole with a bag on it labeled 'Pain No Way'. most likely named by Patton. Virgil turned his head to find Roman asleep laying only 2 inches away from him, almost directly on Virgil's lap. He looked over Princey's shoulder to see Logan reading a book with Patton asleep leaning on his sholder. Virgil maved his arm only to wince at the pain that followed. The sound was loud enough for Logan to hear but not loud enough to wake the others. This leads Logan to look over to Virgil thinking Roman had fallen off the bed like he did a little while ago, but instead he saw an awake Virgil clearly in pain. 

"Virgil, your awake," Logan whispered as to not wake the others. He then moved Patton off of his shoulder and laid him down on the floor. He put his book down and walked quietly over to Virgil. He then kneeled down by the couch and touched Virgil's arm. He looked up at Virgil not saying anything but his face said it all. Virgil gave him a small nod. Logan then slowly took out the small needle from Virgil's arm, earning him another one of pain.

" Are you ok. is there anything I can get you or anything you need," Logan says softly

" No. I'm fine. How long was I out for" Virgil says as Logan puts a bandaid on his arm.

" Not long, Just 2 hours" Logan leans back so Virgil can have some space.

"c...cound you wake pat. I need a hug. And something to eat." Virgil finally said after first telling himself he didn't need anything.

Logan got up a noded. He walked over to Patton before shaking his shoulder a bit. Patton woke with much ease. Logan then brought the sleepy Patton over to Virgil. 

Patton, too tired to really comprehend anything, hugs Virgil and before falling back asleep on top of Virgil's lap says " We missed you."

Logan sighed before moving Patton off of Virgil and onto the other couch. He then moved to the kitched to make Virgil some soup. Virgil looked down at the sleeping prince. His face was so cute. Virgil reached his hand to the Princes face before booping his nose waking him up. " Hay Princey," Virgil says.

The prince looks up at Virgil before tears start to fall down his face. Virgil was confused for a second but before he could say anything, Roman jumped up and kissed Virgil. " Oh God, I'm so sorry. i... I never should have hurt you. your no monster. I'm so so soooo sorry." The prince cried.

Virgil didn't know what to say or what to do. His mind went back and forth between telling him ' He doesn't love you. He pities you' and ' He loves you. He really loves you.'

Virgil let his mind wander to the side that was telling him this was right and he loved him. when Logan came back in he found Roman cuddled up to Virgil and Virgil asleep. He smiled and then sighed as he put the newly made soup on the kitchen counter and then going back to cuddle with Patton. The room was filled with love but a bit of sorrow for Shara was alone in her new room. With no memory of anything past the age of 10. But the sides will help her adjust, just like they did with Virgil.


End file.
